As we learn to distinguish behavior ....

In all this debate about the Regent, there is something we should consider which hasn't been discussed yet: There is no system of checks and balances in vajrayana that can guard against selfish behavior by a teacher. There is no accountability at all, in fact.

Occurrences of corruption and abuse take place throughout the Tibetan Buddhist world. And in every case that I'm aware of, the response of senior throne-holders has been to cover up the abuses and let the perpetrators carry on as usual. Inevitably, more of these stories will someday be made public..

Someone once quoted the Vidyadhara to me to the effect that, "Sometimes, things really are as bad as they seem." It may be helpful to remember that as we learn to distinguish behavior that is merely incomprehensible from behavior that is clearly and obviously wrong.

Ming-med Rdo-rje

VROT

Reading through these posts is quite touching. I realize that we have a sensitive and wise sangha. The only thing that is missing for me is the words of the Regent. There were public meetings and statements from the period of '89-'90. There was also a period of about a year and a half in Ojai - a very transformative time. At least that is what those who saw him in this period say. There are I'm sure recordings. We should include the words of Osel Tendzin in this discussion and the chronicles. Greg Smith

Wow

Ed,

I just want to thank you. I found your thoughts on the matter illuminating and just reading them helped me quite a bit.

Smiling Garuda,

I appreciate your response and I really have no quarrel with you. I know that you did not intend to attack my family but I just wanted to remind you that there are people involved here. I'm sorry for the betrayal you felt. It might interest you to know that my father was sorry too. He said so before he died, not many people know that.

Walter,

Thank you for your kind words. It is good to know that hate is not a motivating factor for you. I understand that people felt my father abused their love and trust. You may know this but I'll say it anyway... He did not do this out of any malicious intent. He truly loved the sangha and I am positive that the mistakes he made arouse out of confusion. May this forum act as a means of dispelling ignorance and be of benefit.

Love to all,

Anthony

Dear Friends

I have been living with this monkey since 1983 when I first started sitting. Every few months since the advent of the world wide web, I have done searches on "VROT", "Thomas Rich", etc. to see if anything is out there. -- maybe a new incarnation, a complete telling of the story, something.

I met the Regent when I was a young lad fresh out of high school. I had started sitting and loved reading the biographies of the lineage holders. I was so curious to see or meet the Regent; he was in LA doing a program, and I was nearby, in Claremont, going to college. The Dharmadhatu put out the call, "all hands on deck," and I showed up. Who was this westerner? Was he enlightened? What could that mean?

Well, I was a total spaz. Being young, I had a lot of energy, and I remember running through the house to do errands and stuff (bumping in to people, knocking into things). I was simultaneously drawn to and repulsed by what was going on. There was obviously a very clear social hierarchy around the Regent, and people seemed so uptight and wanting to fit in. It seemed like the opposite of enlightenment. Simultaneously, the environment was totally alive with wakefulness. The people who were most present with the Regent were really utterly terrifying to me. They were so completely real and un-ashamed of themselves. They were so kind to me, and they seemed unafraid of all the things I was afraid of. I was totally drawn in.

I think I must have missed out on having a good time. The drinking, the sex, whatever of it that there was was not really for me. I was serving drinks, cleaning the refrigerator, cutting the grass-- doing whatever I could to observe the Regent and practice my own mindfulness and awareness, but I was too out of place to really have a rollicking mahamudra good time. I was really much too deeply stuck in being unfriendly to myself and others.

The Regent and his students were a great inspiration to me. It seemed like there was a real understanding of mahamudra going on. There was no deception connected with trying to create a particular state of mind. It seemed like the teachings of the Buddha on sila, samadhi, and prajna; shunyata; bliss and luminosity; etc., had actually been understood and were being lived out in a very complete way.

After the visit to LA, I had made arrangements to work at Karme-Choling for the summer. I wrote the Regent a letter and he actually wrote me back. It made me feel good to be acknowledged to by such an important person. For some reason I was fixated on noticing the apparent imperfections in the behavior and realization of "senior" vajrayana students; he had a very nice way of dismissing my concerns. What can one really say about others?

At the time I had wondered how people could be having unprotected sex with the Regent. It seemed that he was often laid up with some respiratory illness; during my seminary, in 1988, he actually had pneumonia. From what people said, he had been having sex with men for years. How could it not be HIV/AIDS? It seemed like this was a private issue for he, his lovers, and doctors.

With the passage of time, I can understand better the depths of self-deception a person could be involved in. I felt sorry for my self for years, believing that the Regent inhabited a kind of world I had only read about in the Life of Naropa, where mutes speak and turtles grow feathers, and feeling that I had missed out on this by not being free or alive enough in my brief times around him. I believed that having a personal relationship with a great teacher like the Regent would be a very dangerous thing. And I was so very very afraid. I can imagine someone misunderstanding something, and thinking that he or she could do some kind of tantric "playing with fire." We all have misunderstandings. There is no shortcut through karmic debt or realization. I am really sorry if the Regent killed anybody, especially if there was any deception. There would be a horrible karmic debt to pay.

The Vidyadhara and the Regent and their students have created a world that is very seductive. Obviously, there is room for misunderstanding. We can, and do, misunderstand basic teachings on egolessness. We can, and do, misunderstand teachings on coemergence. Who should we blame? The Buddha? Shariputra? The Regent? It is such an individual path, and no one can really do it for us. Just because we have been seduced and happen to enjoy the clean, dirty, colorful, monochromatic, sleepy, and awake environment at a Shambhala Center; if we are smart or dumb, there really is no greater or lesser. It is always up to us.

It seems that it has all been said so many times in so many ways. I have trusted my experience and karma with the Regent since the moment I met him. I can understand how some other people, with different karma, might have had a totally different experience of him.

The Vajra Regent has been dead for quite a while now, so you might think it would be time to move on, but the guru seems to be one of the many skillful manifestations of this particular path. I did not meet Gautama, I did not meet Maitripa, I did not meet Milarepa. I met Osel Tendzin. What else could I say?

In terms of moving forward, I do hope that Patrick Sweeney's students are accepted as full sangha under the Shambhala umbrella. I am sure that the vajra-sangha of Satdharma could benefit from access to the many commentaries and teachings of the Vidyadhara held by Shambhala. I have never felt fully at home at the local Shambhala Center since the picture of the Regent was removed from the shrine, many years ago, but I can't imagine that his picture has a place on the shrine there today; who would even recognize it? But I do feel personally responsible for making the world a better place, and I think a harmonious Shambhala/Satdharma community would nourish me, personally. I think the Satdharma community will make powerful contributions to the Shambhala mandala, but these will happen in their own time.

With Best Regards,

Ed Zaron, Tingdzin Nyima, Sherap Dashon

For Anthony Rich

Dear Anthony Rich,

First of all, I apologize for the delay in responding to you. I took a long vacation this summer and am just getting back to the Chronicle Project.

Second, thank you for apologizing for your father. As Walter said, that apology has never been spoken/written before, that I know of, and it is deeply appreciated. It means a lot. Also like Walter, I appreciate the sincerity of your heart-felt plea to forgive the Regent, your father.

I am sorry you interpreted my posting as an attack on your family. It never entered my mind that it would be taken that way, for it was not intended to implicate your family at all. I certainly didn't intend to kick your family while they are down. I didn't even know they were or are down.

Nor have I ever "hated" your father. I loved him as a brother, and I felt deeply betrayed by him. Please understand that the sangha once felt like one big, happy family -- while the Vidyadhara was alive. That dream of unity was shattered by the revelations of the Regent's misbehavior, which I felt was a betrayal of our father guru. Many of our brothers and sisters left the sangha.

In my emotional lexicon, anger and hatred are different things. I was angry with what the Regent did because it caused the sangha to split and therefore damaged the Vidyadhara's work and legacy. There are still many issues that have not been resolved because the two sides have never ironed out their differences.

From my perspective, the primary issue is truth. What is the truth, in dharmic terms, of what happened to us? Until that question is settled, I do not think this conflict can be resolved. I think it is more than a matter of forgiveness and more than a personal issue with regard to your family.

I wish you all the best, Anthony, and I am truly sorry that you have inherited this burden in such a personal way.

With love and sympathy,

Smiling Garuda

nothing special

hello there all of you out there, i have been reading walters website for a while now from india, it is really wonderful to see all of our old friends sharing their stories, it is also really depressing to see all that shit about the regent he's not a lineage holder etc. to say he was a god would be really stupid to say he is a demon would be even more stupid, i really can't say that i know anyone who should not commit seppuku including myself for violating all of our samaya vows and all the other vows we have all taken over the course of our shared history. it seems remarkably similar to the Karmapa controversy which is more of the same garbage. please just take a deep breath or have a martini, or whatever, let it go. and please why are you scared to use your real names come on do you really think Rinpoche is going to strike you dead from the Kingdom of Shambhala. he knows if you've been naughty or nice. all the best David G. Warren

RE: Smiling Garuda's post

Vidyadhara's Umbrella is a VAST, OPEN sky.

I found "Smiling Garuda's" post heartfelt and sincere. And it prompted various recollections. I write this in the mode of a mild commentary.

"To me, the Regent's primary transgression was that he set up his own camp in competition with the Vidyadhara."

Brings to mind the 1976 "Birthday Poem" (or some such title) by the Vajracarya Chogyam Trungpa, Rinpoche addressed to Thomas Rich on the occaission of his official installment as Regent (I paraphrase):

"If I grow, you grow"
which had a commentary of:
"If I grow, you will be squeezed and forced to grow."

It also brought to mind the Regent's own telling of the time the Vidyadhara requested his opinion in front of others. The Regent simply affirmed that he'd stick to the opinion perspective offered by the Vidyadhara. Afterwards the Regent was admonished to remember his position and to think independently.

While these are both minor bits of evidence and too much to hang more than a miniscule sketch, they point to me a partial answer to the question posed in the original post. Perhaps the Regent "began separating himself" early on at the Vidyadhara's behest. That would make the most sense to me. Who, after all, wants non-adult students endlessly ?

Imagining that the Vidyadhara cultivated adult, independent students is much more compelling to me than the idea that lineage and devotion implies some endless sycophantic immaturity. Clearly there are other alternatives, but I mention the extreme to provide some contrast and see the Regent's independence in relief: independence is a good thing.

It parallels too the Vidyadhara's own experience. Faced in the late 1950s with an impending Chinese invasion he went to his own Gurus for advice. Their advice was for him to make his own decision. He was merely 16! I can't imagine how hard that was and, as we all know, our beloved teacher was up to that challenge (and then some).

My take on Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche's instruction to the sangha -- back quite a few years ago -- to strengthen the center by strengthening the fringe is in line with that as well. Other than ego, things don't need to be centralized to function.

There's one other point in the posting that I felt might be enhanced with a comment or two:
"I still wonder whether the Regent's transgressions and betrayal are what ultimately killed Rinpoche -- that is, brought on his death before his time."
I'm really not sure where the logic of causality comes in here. Was this a broken heart. Is the author projecting his own broken heart onto Rinpoche?

More generally, this discussion about lineage prompts me to share a perspective. What, after all is lineage? What can one be given, or better what can one trully receive that is not of one already? Yes we can develop our innate qualities and even come up with a style. And most certainly there are many demands on a lineage holder both obvious outer ones and defnite inner ones. Clearly there is a unique, essential role and big responsibilities of a lineage holder. But what is transmitted?

I'd say that, ultimately, nothing is transmitted. It's is us already. This confirmation might come as blessings or broken heart or sneeze, but it neither comes nor goes and the confirmation is merely a weather report. Who you are is! Tenderness is (still) wonderful. Our basic goodness is both innate and manifest.

May I continue to tread the path both hidden and revealed. May I continue the intentions of benefiting others and aspiring to a mind bigger than selfishness.

Dear Walter & Chronicles Project,

On the evening of Friday, August 12, 2005 (during the Rigden Abhisheka program) in the Sacred Studies Hall at Shambhala Mountain Center, a remarkable event unfolded. Scheduled as a cocktail party to 'meet and greet' Patrick Sweeney & Lila Rich, approximately 200+ people showed up, overflowing the capacity of the building (despite the fact that substantially the entire Kasung mandala was attending another event and parents could not attend as there was no childcare at that hour), and the evening was converted into a relatively formal Q&A session. President Reoch introduced Patrick & Lila and then each made short remarks. Two hours of heart-felt and lucid questions & responses ensued which touched directly on the subject of this section of the Chronicles website including without limitation lineage transmission, the events of May 28-29, 2005 in Ojai (and subsequent reactions) and many real questions concerning guru/disciple relation, sexuality, etc. which have not been publicly/formally discussed within Vajradhatu/Shambhala over the past 15-20 years. The warmth/love displayed by all demonstrated both the degree of love/loss in the Sangha related to the Vajra Regent and how completely those of us in the middle (entering the Sangha from approximately 1973-1988) had our individual paths permeated by the reality and manifestation of the Regent.

The event was recorded and it should be possible to obtain a copy of the recording (and transcribe it) to provide a basis to continue the dialoque/exploration.

In the Vision of the Completeness of the Vidyadhara's World,
Mark A Smith

Thank you

Dear Anthony,

Thank you for your raw and powerful post. Your courage in writing this is what's been missing for a very long time. Thank you.

I think you're wrong about people hating your father. I mean a few people do, sure -- he was such a dynamic person -- people felt threatened by his magnetism and power and for some people that turned into real loathing. But I really believe that most people in the sangha deeply love your father -- that's why this process is so painful for everybody. We're talking about someone who really means a lot to us on a very deep level.

I'm sorry that this discussion is painful for you and for your family. There is a lot of pain on all sides. As we can see, keeping quiet about it -- even for 16 years -- doesn't make the pain go away. Many people who loved your father feel that he abused their love and their trust. Until your post yesterday, I don't think that anybody has ever said "I'm sorry" to these people. Nobody has even acknowledged that they exist. Your open hearted sadness is like rain in the desert.

I think I can speak for the majority of the sangha (and that in itself is a small miracle) when I say: thank you for openness and your bravery.

All my love,
Walter Fordham

the morning after

I guess what I am trying to say is "uncle" :) Anthony

My heart is broken

Dear Sangha, I would like address the post written here by smiling guruda because it levels claims against my father and affects my entire family.

What was written truly hurts me. No one here seems to mind that not all of what was said is true and that it causes harm to my family. But I mind, I find it undignified.

What ever happened to campassion and forgiveness? Through this process I have found that a lot of people hate my father. I feel that that hate only hurts the people who are doing the hating and my family. It is not helping.

My family understands that people are furious over what my father did. Trust me, we get it. We've been getting it for the last sixteen years. I am not defending his actions. I am simply pleading with people to stop kicking us while we are down, it hurts. How long should my family pay for the actions of my father? When is enough enough? I am down on my knees begging the Sangha to forgive my father.

Please let go, let's move forward together in the spirit of loving kindness. Let's see if it is possible to create the kind of world that the Vidyadhara envisioned where people treat each other with dignity. I love you smiling guruda, no matter what.

Although I know it is not my fault, again I ask the sangha with all sincerity, please forgive my father. To the ones he caused harm, please forgive him. On his behalf I apologize from the depths of my being.

Your ever-loving heartfelt friend and unending brother in the Dharma, I love you all always.

Anthony Rich

Queen seeks wild ride with genuine King

The boys are back in town? What about a King?
A good Nova Scotian King.
I'd take a ride with a genuine King.
So if you fit that description, let me know.

I've been in town for a long time and believe me,
nothing is happening. It's worse than you think.

I'm small. I became small because the most compelling man I've ever brushed lips with said: "move to Nova Scotia and become small". So while the world, that was my world, seems bent on getting big, I am small.

Stubborn as a nut.
Small as an electron.
And contrary too.

Well, I have nothing left to hold on to but my gomden and I would love a wild ride because the big bores me to tears and small is the heart of a pigeon.

Tharpa Tungdra

Why say goodbye?

Tom I am sorry you had an alcohol problem. I think you should be an intervention therapist. We can be Buddhists regardless of anything. More important is our conduct. Are we destined to become the Buddhist equivilant of Mormons? Looks that way.

Let us put Trungpa first. Let us forget stupid politics and practice his lineage. Study more. Do it ourselves. This whole Ojai situation is non-existent. CCL. For what it's worth. The boys are back in town. Hold on to your gomden. It will be a wild ride. There are still those of us who are not motivated by personal and organizational gain. There are those of us who are real. Just like you reading this now.

Good Morning,
Gesar Mukpo

Discussion post

Thus it is, o noble Smiling Garuda, thus it is. (see The Vidyadhara's Umbrella, by Smiling Garuda below)

Thank you for giving voice to my, and I am sure many, many others' concerns, of many years, about VROT, about the absence of intelligent and decisive action by the sangha, and especially now about SMR.

In studying the early, extraordinary teachings of the Vidyadhara, I am so struck by the often-brilliant questions of the students in the audience. What has become of that critical, brilliant, first-thought intelligence? Where is that articulate, intelligent questioning now?

It is all so terribly sad for those of us standing on the wharf, watching the ship sail off into the sunset.

With sadness, Moon of Simplicity

One man's opinion

This is a wonderful discussion. One of the great things about the Internet is how it opens up communication.

I have had a loose connection with this Sangha for about 25 years. I have had sort of a love hate relationship. You all know the things to love. The thing I hated was a sort of dishonesty and a personality cult around the teachers. Maybe these internet conversations can cut through all that and open up more direct honest communication.

There are lots of rather long postings here. I will try to be brief and stick to just one major point.

I think that in order to have good communication the sangha needs to get honest about one basic simple fact, which is that drinking alcohol does almost the exact opposite of what meditation does. Meditation makes us more aware, drinking makes us less aware. Meditation helps us face feelings we would like to avoid. Drinking helps us avoid difficult feelings. Meditation leads to better communication. Drinking leads to worse communication.

Buddha spoke clearly on the issue of alcohol. The fifth precept addresses this. I don't believe that just because the Buddha said something we should accept it blindly, but we should at least recognize what he said. Maybe he was right about the fifth precept.

Chogyam Trungpa was a great teacher but he also had a problem with alcohol. People in the sangha imitated this. It has caused problems in communication. Stop drinking and you will be able to communicate better. It is that simple.

Tom Carr

The Kingdom Seemed quite Peaceful

From The Memoirs Of Sir Nyima Sangpo:

The entire Kingdom seemed quite peaceful. The farmers were going about their work, the tofu makers were producing an abundance of tofu, and the various religious sects were continuing with their prayers, theological pursuits and meditation. At the same time, there was a feeling in the Kingdom that someone somewhere, or maybe a group of individuals, was taking advantage of the situation...

One thing that I couldn't understand was that it seemed that no one was actually attacking us, although somebody was threatening us. After several days of watching the government officials come and go from their meetings, I took the liberty of discussing the situation with His Majesty. "Sir," I began, "There seems to be a great threat in the Kingdom, but I cannot determine who is threatening us or what the danger is."

In answer, His Majesty said: "My dear Nyima Sangpo. You have been with me many years. Do you still not know that:
When there are rain clouds, the sun will be attacked. When you sneeze, you are about to have influenza. When you scorch the roast beef on the outside, You will have nothing to eat on the inside. We are not threatened but we are threatened. Even if we lie on our beds, we still might have insomnia.

The Vidyadhara's Umbrella

My overall feeling about lineage is that somehow everybody in the Shambhala mandala, including Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche and his students, needs to become very clear that the SOURCE of blessings for all of our existences is the Vidyadhara, and that all of the extended mandala owes primary devotion to HIM. Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche brought the profound, brilliant, just, powerful, all-victorious dharma of the Kagyu, Nyingma and Shambhala lineages to the West with his own blood, sweat, tears, and fearless integrity and creativity. None of us would be where we are without the tireless wisdom and compassion of our primary root guru. HE is the root guru, the ocean of dharma, the source of blessings for all of us. He is our Jamgon Kongtrul Lodrö Thaye, our mahaguru.

I have felt all along that the Regent/Satdharma people, and to a certain extent SMR himself, have not properly venerated VCTR as the root guru, and that it is this which has caused conflict, acrimony and alienation within the mandala. It's as though nobody except staunch Vidyadhara loyalists really 'got' Rinpoche's teachings on lineage and devotion, which were his first lengthy teachings in No. America. He modeled devotion to his lineages for us and it was an essential aspect of his teachings and of the blessings our sangha received from him.
(continued)

Courage

Kevin, Thank you for your creative (although I must say bizarre) set of solutions. The Regent at the Abbey? Hard to imagine. And, I'm sorry, but turning Kier into some kind of symbolic martyr is grotesque and heartless. He died. His family lost a son and a brother. This was not service on the front lines. He and his family were victims of the Regent's abuse of power.

Before we starting building stupas and symbolic weapons, let's start by officially acknowledging what happened. Until Lady Diana's heroic letter a few weeks ago, no one in all of Vajradhatu/Shambhala has had the balls to stand up and state the facts. And to this day, no one has publicly apologized to (or even expressed their condolences to) Nancy Craig. Can we all agree that this is disgraceful?

And please, let's not hear from anyone who says that Kier didn't get aids from the Regent. We know that the Regent had unprotected sex with unsuspecting victims, including Kier. Whether he did or he didn't transmit the disease is beside the point.

Yours in the GES, Joe Schmidt

PS: Thank you to Lady Diana for her courage.

Notes on Reconciliation

These are my personal opinions and I don't really expect that otherswill necessarily affirm them. Rather we tend to hold our own opinions.Still, I believe there might be some value in airing these,particularly now that the Sakyong has initiated the reconciliation ofa schism which has torn many of us apart.

Question marks hang over the whole subject of Osel Tenzin and inparticular his sexual relations with students. We are presented with achoice of right or wrong and called upon to make a decision.Throughout most of the nineties I too struggled with these matters butwas unable to find any sort of settled view. At length, a vision ofsorts finally dawned that helped me to make sense out of what hadhappened. Maybe it would help to relate these things, we'll see.

(continued)

Healing the Sangha

First of all, I would like to thank Walter Fordham and the Chronicles website for hosting this blog and opening it to everyone in the sangha. This seems quite brave and daring, and also utterly in keeping with the legacy of sanity bestowed by the Vidyadhara. However, aside from letters from officials, are there really only two postings, those by Scott Perry and Mark Smith? No postings in the last ten days? Perhaps the word of this opportunity has not spread far enough. As for myself, I am both relieved and intrigued by the recent agreement between Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche and Patrick Sweeney. I am relieved by the possibility that the rift in the sangha, which has been so painful to me and most others, has the potential to be healed. I am relieved to read the content of their agreement (written by Richard Reoch), and its aspiration to bring everyone back under the Shambhala umbrella created by the Vidyadhara/Dorje Dradul. (continued)

Primary Materials from Recent Events

Gentlefolk,

To relate to the current discussion in an informed manner, it will beuseful to view/review the primary source materials from the May 28-29,2005 events in Ojai,California (including the Letter of Agreement, KhenpoTsultrim Gyamtso's letter, the remarks of Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche andPatrick Sweeney, etc.). These documents may be viewed at/downloaded fromwww.satdharma.org.

With the Aspiration that All of the Vidyadhara's Vision be Included,

Mark A. Smith

The Regent Is Us

The Vajra Regent was an extraordinarily brilliant expression of awake, an incandescent naked dharmic express train. I took refuge with him and the mind meeting was utter, profound, unforgettable. He gave me ngondro transmissions and I can easily recall the atmosphere of his complete unguarded radical presence. I wish you could have been there. Probably you were. We all were. And, in my estimation, the Regent really, completely, and without reservation, fucked up. Few have the opportunity to fuck up so vividly and with such far-ranging and deep impact. Dharma practitioners in our lineage and others will reference the Regent's extraordinary fucking up for the next thousand-plus years - if we human beings manage to last that long. And at the same time, the Regent was so unexpressibly tender, so completely generous, so magnificent beyond words. I have never experienced another human being who would take more emphatic risks to reach out to others, with no apparent concern for himself, right on the spot. So what do we do with all that? I am so impressed with the Sakyong's activity in forging a bond with Patrick Sweeney and with everyone who considers herself or himself to be a student of the Vajra Regent, who are our vajra sisters and brothers. At the very, very least, the Regent is my vajra brother. I respect his memory by bringing this all to the path of dharma. Scott Perry