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A Tribute to Jonathan Eric
In memory
by Ginny Lipson
I've known Jonathan since forever, but the beginning of our closest connection came over six years ago when I was doing a phone calling of sadhakas for the feast committee. We talked for a long time, and I realized that he had continual "retreat mind." After that, I wanted to become close friends with him and visit on a regular basis.
We met every few weeks since then, (with a few gaps) until his death in October. We talked of many things, but most memorable were our conversations about dharma. He was such a sincere person, with such incredible faith, devotion and conviction, that his sense of sacred outlook was amazing. I often thought of him as "so pure." Now I think: "Blessed are the pure of heart, because they will see God!"
Equal to this quality of purity, Jonathan was one of the most intense people I've known. He was 100% serious about practice, (including maintaining a sense of humor!). Practice and study seemed to be crucial to his life. He told me of the intensity of his experiences in practicing the Sadhana of Mahamudra every day for such a long time (over a year?) and of his intense commitment to Trungpa Rinpoche to honestly and continuously face the experiences of his own mind.
Jonathan talked a lot about extreme experiences and about the importance of practicing through extreme experiences. I don't think he ever talked directly about what experiences he worked with in his practice. But just being around him, I assumed that he was referring to the frustrations of a prolonged, and painful sickness and the emotional intensity that comes along with intense practice. He told me that he was only doing the best he could in his practice. He referred to himself as a mere child in this regard, while others, the many respected teachers in the sangha that he appreciated, he referred to as grown-ups. I think this shows his incredible humility. It's impossible to judge someone else's practice. But, from what I saw, he was a grown-up in every way, especially when it came to practice. During his last few years, as his illness became more and more cumbersome, he doggedly continued to face whatever mental experiences came up. At some point, he got very serious about Ekajati as a protector. He read me passages from Trungpa Rinpoche's poems about her. He made a special shrine to her, which was very prominent in his apartment, and included a lit candle all day long every day. He felt she was a very real presence, as were all the protectors. And towards the end of his life he SERIOUSLY and LITERALLY practiced, The Song of Gyalwa Gotsangpa on How to Practice with Illness.
Jonathan's illness was a horrendous burden, which he bore bravely and stoically. Although it made it difficult for him to get out, he seemed to maintain as much independence as possible, going out on his electric wheelchair to the library, doctor's office, or to various meetings, including the Karma Dzong wheelchair ramp/accessibility meetings. He devised elaborate methods to tend to his health needs so that it would be possible for him to go to the stupa consecration.
Early last year, he wanted to be more involved with the community, and presented a small class in his home based on Jeremy Hayward's book, Letters to Vanessa. There was a very small attendance, but it was wonderful to hear him present the salient points of the book, which provoked profound and engaged discussion. This past summer, although his health had been miserable for months, he made elaborate plans to go to the Vajra Assembly at Shambhala Mountain Center. Although he paid dearly for it with his health from the exertion he put out to do so, he was so excited about what happened there. He was so inspired by the teachings, and also by the recognition he received from the sangha for his past donation to actually buy the land up there that made everything possible. He was also deeply touched by the blessings and appreciation given to him by Trungpa Rinpoche's half-brother and nephew who were visiting Shambhala Mountain Center.
Jonathan really wanted to write a memoir of his many stories spanning the history of his relationship with Trungpa Rinpoche and the Boulder sangha. Unfortunately, he was never able to complete or even begin that project.
I met with Jonathan less than a week before he died. At that time, he was so cheerful and optimistic. He had a new plan to deal with his current horrendous health problems, and seemed very bright about the future. However, he told me he felt he could die at any moment, so he had begun to live that way. Practicing every moment! He had recently participated in an interview with Lama Mingyur (Ed Podvoll), and felt freshly inspired as to how to proceed with his daily practices. He particularly stressed Gyalwa Gotsangpa's song on how to practice with illness and printed me out a copy on the spot.
A few hours after he died, I went to sit with his body. It was so peaceful in the room, there was a tremendous sense of space. I was so sad, but found myself reflecting on all the times we had met in his home, including times I had brought Surmang Khenpo Tsering over to meet with him. There was always such a powerful practice atmosphere being with Jonathan, that it would typically bring me around to my senses by just being there. That evening, I was once again brought around to my senses, my mind stopped spinning, and an incredibly helpful insight about my particular personal current dilemma arose on the spot. Being able to sit with Jonathan was an incredible gift, and the next day when I practiced at home, I had profound experiences that were caused by his memory, yet impossible to repeat or express. I thought, "Oh Jonathan! Wow!" Do I ever miss him!
© 2004 Ginny Lipson
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