Tribute to Mary Smith
Long time sangha member, Mary Smith, died peacefully in her home in Boulder, Colorado on October 11, 2011. She was 85. Mary had moved to Boulder from San Francisco in the early '70's to study with her root guru, Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche.
Mary talks about her life with Kunga Dawa [audio: 56:40]
This interview took place in Boulder in February 2011. Thank you to Kunga Dawa for interviewing Mary, and to Marv Ross for recording the interview.
The tribute to Mary Smith has me in tears - just heard her talk with Kunga Dawa
on the Chronicles.
We were in the Gurijeff Work in the late 60's, and when 'Meditation in
Action" came out, she loaned us a copy.....soon after that, Rinpoche came to America and then to Berkeley.
He gave a talk, in terrible broken english, at a Coffee House - which didn't matter one bit -(his english), for Stephen & I were soon to rush off to the first Allen Park seminar he gave with all the Pygmies.
Then soon after, I took the kids and we picked up and moved to Boulder!
Thus, I feel quite a karmic connection with Mary.
Farewell Mary, you were a dear friend.
Diana Duncan
(formally Diane Roth)
***
Posted October 15, 2011
I fondly remember Mary from the time I first joined the sangha in 1974. At that time, she was coordinator of the San Francisco Dharmadhatu. I remember her coming back from an interview or conversation with Trungpa Rinpoche and relating with a laugh that Rinpoche had advised her to start preparing for her death. She was of course very fortunate to have several more decades to relate to that. On a related topic, I was at that time fairly alienated from my parents, and she helped me with that. She said, “They’re only here for a short time, so it is important to appreciate them while they’re here.” (My parents are now 91 & 92 and still living independently.)
***
One of the great things I remember about her is that one day when we
were gathering in Karma Dzong for a talk by the Boss, there were no chairs
left...they were all full of healthy young things.
Mary was upset that nobody offered to give or get her a chair.
And said quite loudly - "You'll all be old one day"
...now we know this to be true!
-Jan Watson
***
Mary Smith was the third close friend of mine (ours) to have died on October 11th.
Bonnie Hurst died October 11th, 1997 (I just heard from Tera Hurst confirming the year) -- can you believe it's been that long?
Beverley Webster died October 11th, 2010.
-Judith Smith
***
I remember a birthday of Mary's. It occurred in the early 1970's in Berkeley. A group of us went to lunch with Mary to celebrate her birthday. Of course we all assumed that we would be taking her out. Toward the end of the meal Mary tells us that it is an old Armenian custom that the person who is having the birthday treats her friends to a meal! That is Mary.
-Miriam Tarcov
***
Posted October 14, 2011
Reading these wonderful, heart-felt messages about and tributes to Mary Smith gladdens my own heart and makes me terribly sad and remorseful at the same time. Mary and I were very good friends for many years in Boulder and after I moved to Halifax. But, as with many friendships, the closeness dwindled with "out of sight out of mind" mentality (on my part). I stayed with her 2 or 3 times when I visited Boulder in the past 24 years, but ... alas, I did not even phone her when I was there in early August. (The heat took my heart and mind away!) I heard a few days ago that she was dying, and ... well, didn't phone her. This is a great lesson about procrastination and neglect.
But. many thanks to Ellen Knapp for your close-in report, and to the others of you for the reminder of Mary's hilarious and open, unabashed laughter! I loved it so much, and I loved laughing with her. Wish I had been at the screening of Crazy Wisdom to enjoy the full-throttledness of it.
Bon Voyage, dear friend. There's no doubt you will negotiate the bardo with your usual directness and fearless approach to whatever you meet.
-Judith Smith
***
Posted October 14, 2011
I'm not really clear if I remember this or was told this. It was probably
in my first visit to the SF Dharmadhatu, during a week retreat in their
basement where they had a week of extended practice, at the end of 1975.
Walking meditation was done in two halves, two circles around the cushions,
left & right to the shrine. Mary would be going at a faster pace around a
circle than the rest of us. Commenting on this is that...commenting...but
she may have been also sharing about not being too precious.
Sorry, not meaning to abstract a life just passed, but I'm understanding
both a very personal, and at the same time, political...in the way it was
public...life.
Rest easy, Mary.
Ira Zukerman
***
Posted October 14, 2011
I always found Mary's iconoclasm delightful.
Over the last few years, after I had ventured out to propagate the Vidyadhara's teachings, she followed me on the internet and sent me encouraging messages. One of the lines she wrote to me was, "I feel the liberation from not being connected with a large organization."
The last time I saw her was at the screening of the movie, "Crazy Wisdom," in Boulder this year. It was accompanied by a local ad that tried the nerves, at the end of which Mary, not young, yelled out from near the back of theatre, "That was terrible!"--which brought down the house.
Bill Karelis
***
Posted October 15, 2011
Very well told, Bill, about the screening of the Crazy Wisdom movie and her yell. I was sitting next to her, and the movie was shown at a local church with pews, so for someone shorter like she was, she needed a stack of Bibles to perch on, to be able to see over taller people. It was great.
I loved Mary's truthfulness and lack of pretense. Which often came with a hearty laugh. Also, she was sweet as a friend, and very appreciative.
I watched this summer, as she struggled with not feeling well and really trying to regain her health. Then, a couple of weeks ago I heard that suddenly Hospice was taking care of her and I had to leave for a week. I called before I left, hoping I would see her when I came back. I called yesterday and she'd died just moments before. I went to her beautiful little house, where it's now very peaceful and she has great care, from Suzanne, Lindy King and others...it's very nice over there. Mary looks fine.
***Ellen Knapp
Posted October 14, 2011
Mary was a great friend of mine for many years and we were both participants in the first "death college" at the Boulder Shambhala Center. So we had studied and talked about death quite a bit. In late September while I was visiting Mary in Boulder and after her terminal diagnosis, it came time to say goodbye. I was going home to San Francisco and most likely would not see her again. I was a little teary eyed and said "I'll be joining you soon, see you soon". And she in her very New York raspy way said "Don't hurry !"
Much love to you Mary,
Margaret Tighe
***
I also would like to contribute a couple of short fond remembrances.
Way back when the SF Dharmadhatu had 9 members and Rinpoche came to town and gave a talk on working with the spiritual path and used the analogy of peeling onions -Mary disappeared very suddenly and I went out to find her sitting in her car weeping copiously. I asked her what was going on and she said something about old memories. I suggested she stop peeling onions for a while and we both cracked up.
Another time R. had again come to SF and Mary invited all 9 of us plus Rinpoche to her tiny apartment to eat. We had ground beef cooked in an Armenian way plus lots of green beans and cheese bread which she concocted from scratch. Best meal I had in a long time and R. seemd very happy with the situation. I never did get the recipe for the cheese bread which I regret. -Cicely Berglund
***
From an old friend
Posted October 12, 2011
For Mary Smith
You were always kind
and this kindness was home
to many beings.
You were friendly to me when
I was scared. I never doubted
your sincerity, your goodness.
I’ve thought of you over the years,
more than I ever said ... as a touchstone
in my heart of what we were all trying to be.
-John Tischer
***
Long time practitioner, Mary Smith, died quite peacefully in her home early this afternoon from a lingering kidney ailment. She was 85. Mary had moved to Boulder from San Francisco in the early '70's to study with her root guru, Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche.
Her family invites people to drop by and practice for the next two days at 1415 Dellwood, Boulder, 80304.
Necessary Angel:
The Gradual Path of Raising Buddhist Children:
Inner Chronicles:
Work Sex Money: Seminar Three,
Ocean of Dharma: A Shambhala Sun feature on Chögyam Trungpa by Barry Boyce
Tribute to Arbie Thalacker
Chronicles Highlights 2011
Chronicles Holiday Sampler