I first met Kidder in Tibet at the Karmapa's monastery. He caught me meditating at the sky burial site...... Come to find out decades later I would learn that he grew up with my family and these were just some of the coincidences that marked our many decade friendship. Ten years ago we got a pair of matching cats with no pre-planning just identical kittens from different litters and what a symbol of our friendship. Kidder was the guy I shared my writings with and passed along music, fart jokes and Dharma gossip. In my life he seemed to always just be there, a part of the same Sangha or at the same retreat. He was someone I included on emails and corresponded with throughout many life changes......then these past ten years there was still the same humour and general nonsense between us but during various trials and dark nights of the soul work for me, he soon became a beacon of light and intimate friendship. He supported me when no one else would or could; he saw my at times crazy-ness as a part of my wisdom and we shared a deep admiration for Chogyam Trungpa........ But it was his heart that drew me to him for support------as I told him many times this past year he is/was a warrior for love......Due to my trials I wanted to forsake all talk of love but he was unyielding and made it so I could never completely dismiss the world (and many times I wanted to)-----He listened to my nonsense and helped me say "no"----he shared his own struggles and would offer me genuine love and understanding those times I felt completely lost. In one example in the midst of my world falling apart he just said well you could just label it thinking and let it go---he reminded me to bring it back to practice and run through all the stages until I released it and surrendered......... He was my best friend, my best Dharma brother......for the past ten years in particular there weren't many days that we didn't have at least some communication back and forth------I already miss that.........He told me as he was in the process of dying that he was sorry to leave me in the lurch........but his wild awakened heart still carries on in me and in others------I may miss our correspondence but I still talk to him............I will have to find other people now to send my fart jokes and pranks to........we loved each other and supported each other......I don't know if I will ever have that kind of friendship again........but at least my heart is open to love, without him it wouldn't be and that is just one of the many gifts he left me..............Too many daytime stars have departed, the world grows dark---he told me recently; "you are one of the elders now..." I can only hope I can love the world and its confused beings as well as he did.......