I

i remember now:

an old frog
jumps into the pond-

Plop

CTR
Oh, how you are, for us,
and are not,
Essence of love, beyond thought
Here,
and not,
So missed,
And present,
brilliant sun cloud
Sun.

My tears turn into shining diamonds when I hear your voice
My farts become incense when I see your face
I will continue to shout your name from Maine to California
Until my throat is dry and my bones crumble
Here's to unending samsara
I love you Sir

From my heart you have never moved and never will. I love you.

Pristine Chapel

Fundamental ground of basic goodness,
beginner´s mind,
square one, perception based experience.

From that ground, first thought arises as
best thought,
brainstorm,
quantum awareness,
unity of perceiver and field,
intuitive understanding without interpretation,
pointing to appropriate action.

In this way, samura(…)

First dream of you:

I'm in a dark elevator. Push the UP button
Rinpoche suddenly behind me, close,
pushes the DOWN button.

A teaching for life, to this hope-filled new student, just arrived in Boulder, CO from California.

Tribute 2023

It´s been so long that you´ve been gone.
Why does it feel as if you never left?
Your words are a perfume, immense and
living, that fills the whole of space.

En absorción continua de toda vuestra sabiduría.

Saludos a todos, a todas en este espacio.

As he did

Alone
on a river bank
in Gypsum, Colorado
with a body of red flames,
hollow and sensuous,
moist and alive—
burning the real stuff of the world

The day runs on
like the river

Morning is gone
Afternoon is underway

Is there something I can do
as he did
to soothe the suffering of beings?
-Summer 87

I never met the Vidyadhara in this life, yet I know the brilliance of his kindness through his students, and the clarity and power of his teachings through the books of his collected talks. Years ago I used to read aloud from the Profound Treasury volumes while soaking in the bathtub, preaching dharma to any hungry ghost who happened by, laugh(…)

To the guru

Ight

Moths flicker as we know into the light
We keep our hearts open yet tight
There are mysteries that dance in powder blue light
For each moment still active
The glance so slight
As we gather all our might
Opening the door to our insight

Empty garden

New moon/dark night
sweet flower-scented breeze
rings the chimes—
the same sad song in the wind
as all the spring nights
we served you in the garden.
What is it that we thought would last?
What is left that we still don’t know will end?

April 28, 1987

Chogyum is human
Trungpa is monk
Rinpoche is Rigzin Chennpo
Choki Gyatsho is Dorjichang
And he is Guru Rinpoche
I pay homage to CTR

You are how I came to know the Dharma in this lifetime. Half a century ago. Words cannot convey what my heart feels 🌀

impermanence,
indeed.
i have always considered you
my Dharma brother
forever.
nice to hear from you
now and again

your paintings are love
how else?
they frame my house and my world
thanks so much,
until we meet again
ha ha ha ha ha AH

To the nirmanakaya
The definite, the deliberate, the sagacious
The fearless traveler
The peerless teacher
The dharma general
The generous father

To the enjoyment body
Expressive of every color
Moving in the passion of wakefulness
Great ally of the elements, spirits and cultures of the world

To the dharma body, unknowable and unn(…)

En la sanga, en el buda y en el dharma… gracias, muchas gracias.

Conocerte a través del relato de tu alumno José Arguelles, para mi fué un gran regalo y un gran reencuentro.

Gracias por toda tu emanación de sabiduría que disfruto diariamente.

Te abrazo con el alma.

Caco.

The Druk Sakyong Greeted as Saxon King

hail to the high-born heart the great ring-giver

lord and friend of great battle spirits

guardian of warriors bright-armoured men

wise king of the gem-rich kingdom

gold-friend of strong battle-hearts

best of warriors among shield companions

hoard-guard for heroes p(…)

We haven’t met in the flesh

Loving jaws drop a hundred thousand stories that delta the Dharma Ocean

I listen closely to the stampede which tramples the cangue on my lonely ears

Thank you, Vidyadhara Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche 🙏

The first and last time I saw you, that last London public talk: "Spiritual Materialism" and you gave transmission. We smiled. A seed was planted. Thank you; come to these shores again, we'll raise a glass.

only father guru

now that you have died
i am truly an orphan
and it is sad to live alone
in this world
sad to live alone
in this cement samsara
but through the foresight
of your limitless compassion
my inheritance is immeasurable
though my sight is veiled
by the darkness of ignorance, passion and aggression,
you have left the gr(…)

On Returning to the Home of the Father Guru

Homage to my Father Guru
Chokyi Gyatso Dorje Dradul
The Crazy Wisdom Holder
of the three times
The conqueror of samsara
and nirvana

When I was young
you bestowed
on this aging yogin
the blessing
to see the truth
that there is no distinction
between samsara and nirvana,
but because o(…)

In that spark-moment
You bring us home, remembering.
As it is,
It really is ok.

Awkward entrance with thunderclap announcement.
Stare into black hole eyes at event horizon.
Offer black star sapphire with gold with clunk at bottom of bowl.
For real

1975 Sacred Heart Auditorium Boulder:
Waiting and waiting, Stones on the loud speaker, "You can't always get what you want,
but you get what you need."
Small, brown man in a suit limping to his seat, said he was the surgeon to perform
open heart surgery. My broken heart finally relaxes into the open space that he is.
I am not afraid.
I (…)

Chogyam, Mr. Mahamudra

Every time we were in a room with him.
Every time we saw his face.

When he was asked a question:
When there was that gap.
When that smile arose.
When his face radiated warmth like the Great Eastern Sun
We experienced Mahamudra.
But we thought it was outside.
We thought, “I wish I had what he has.”
Not real(…)

3/3/2022 Year of the Water Tiger

Chogyam, Mr. Mahamudra

Every time we were in a room with him.
Every time we saw his face.

When he was asked a question:
When there was that gap.
When that smile arose.
When his face radiated warmth like the Great Eastern Sun
We experienced Mahamudra.
But we thought it was outside.
We thought, “(…)

Crazy Wisdom

for Chogyam Trungpa

Lone warrior on rocky precipice of sanity
Bearing the mindstream of ancient runes
To fickle lords of materialism

Riding your wild tiger of ferocity
Soft-hearted Bodhisattva true son of Padmakara
Wild horses couldn’t keep us apart

For decades the momentary clasp
Of your crocodile hold kept (…)

Chogyum is human
Trungpa is monk
Rinpoche is Rigzin Chennpo
Choki Gyatsho is Dorjichang
And he is Guru Rinpoche
I pay homage to CTR

Great, great, unfathomably great good fortune
To have met you in this lifetime.
May my life be worthy of this blessing.

VCTR’s Province:
In commemoration of a 1995 expedition to deliver
Lord Mukpo’s (Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s) salts
to the waters beyond Halifax Harbour:

Six orange-vested kasung
Launch into Halifax Harbour in a hand-built boat,
Thinking to wrestle the ocean and offer your gifts to the sea.

Six orange dots getting smaller and smaller(…)

"I gave you everything,
enjoy!"

ear-whispered haiku from/for CTR

this heart is broken
(this engagement, not)
it flickers still
it's in the dampness caught
like an aspiring firefly
so eager to alight
on that blue palm of yours
where starts and ends my flight

In the midst of that circular rainbow,
Looking up into the vast fuzzy space,
The mala beads all scattered,
Now I feel you closer than ever before.

Your effort, your stretching and extending yourself and shape shifting all in an effort to reach me and us all; from a thousand years ago in Tibet to Oxford English and American hippies. If there is ever another being like you Rinpoche, grant your blessings.

When you were close,
you were so very very there,
yet totally unfathomable.

Now that you seem so far away,
you feel so close,
as if I could just kiss those fat lips.

Full heart of sadness
Turns to joy
My love for you
 
Knowing only I do not know,
Walking humbly in the vastness
of your vision
 
I am your lover from afar
Waiting to be
Near
 
O sacred world
Unrequited love your theme
Unrelenting passion your mode

“Jolly good luck”

is reading these poems.

On Meeting a True Friend
Vancouver, February 1975
With great trepidation
I met you face-to-face
Mountain like —
you sat in your chair so still
On hearing my multi-towered stories
of sorted meditation practices
from Christian to somewhat buddhist
— an utter embodiment of spiritual materialism
embraced by total bewilderment
You laughe(…)

Dearest Rinpoche,

It is sad: being in the space of duality:

Friends apparently departing.

Friends of wisdom-mind like exotic gemstones

Scattered

thru vivid daylite’s wakened eye

like diamonddots challenging the sun’s undying brilliance…

Rainbow Snow Clouds mark your silent flight

On Garuda’s silver(…)

Calling to the Vidyadhara

I thought I missed you,
That I would have clung
if in your presence.
If that history had been gifted
I could have been bold

But I see
What I had been:
Private, slow grown,
Was slated for
The radiant editions
The aftermath, the ash.

Those who walked with you,
Some driven mad from your proof,
Still(…)

To my root guru who opened my heart and mind to the possibility that I could wake up and not be trapped in this never-ending samsara. I love you with all my heart and still cry when I think you are no longer with me. PHAT you are still here.

April 04, 2018: Paranirvana of the Venerable , the Vidyadhara Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

I am always grateful to my root guru the venerable Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche for his vast teachings and pointing out instruction at the age of 23, when Trungpa gave me my first meditation instruction . ( in the solarium at the University of Vermont, USA, w(…)

What Pilate said about meeting Jesus
sounded just like meeting you. Pilate
knew he was meeting a man…but he’d
never met a man like that before

You were not fiction, and you are well
documented. Having met you, I know
what a miracle you were and continue
to be. I feel beyond any superlative to
have known you. May your teachings
(…)

Since Rinpoche was so compassionate and skillful in pointing out what lays deep in our hearts—the good, as well as the rest–he remains extremely vivid and present to many of us. That presence is none other than the awakened nature of our own minds, and yet, how beautiful and delightful that it appears in the form of his mischievous smile!

open broken heart
alone
your beating heart
your endless eyes
kind beyond kind
no rescue
immense suffering
complete trust
impossible sadness
complete devotion
complete courage
heart torn open
from the inside
you love me
incomprehensible

At first light a sight to be sung.
Hearing our heartbeat to the drum. If we was to give it all away.
We would give the day
The sea, clouds and it's rains.

I am too young to have met you. But thank you, with all my heart.
I aspire to meet you one day Rinpoche.

I was in the Tibetan Buddhist Monastery now called -Samye Ling- in 1968 in Scotland where Trungpa lived together with his Tulku Akong Rimpoche ; a great Tibetan artist Sherapalden Beru who painted tankas and other traditional Tibetan paintings and a few monks..
Thank God (for the Western World) they had escaped into Britain after the Chines(…)

Thank you all so much….I write a tribute to your steadfastness. It helps me understand why i am besotted, why i tremble when i see a flash of light and guess at the source. i wonder if i could have stood in the same room with him? will never know for sure… but hold head and shoulders up. with smile.

Is everybody awake??? HI!

He strongly influenced my friend and early mentor, Dan Russell, who travelled with Trungpa to Bhutan, where he also met Dilgo Khyentse Rimpoche. As a youth I travelled up to the Scottish borders, hoping to learn meditation…
I asked Dan to "Show me the awakened state", (It worked for Milarepa)…"You show me"., he said . . *Irritating*.(…)

Hi my name is Karl – and I have a few memories of memories of personal experiences with The Most Venerable Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche:

I got in my white Ford van and drove to the DENVER AIRPORT – John and Marvin were there too – in John's blue VW bug. His plane landed and everybody disembarked except one. What happened – nothing – for at l(…)

The Grateful Acceptance of All!

At the lowest point of my life, the Shambhala dharma kept me breathing. I am filled with gratitude.

I asked him looking up while tying his shoe laces, "what Buddha family am I"
CTR "Find out!"

You just blew my mind, thank you so much!

Ô inoubliable CTr
Tu as dit
puisque nous sommes ici pourquoi ne pas y être
et où que je sois ta question
me porte et me soulève et me guide
Quand je pense que tu es parti je pleure
quand je pense à tout ce que tu nous a donné
je souris et je pleure
ma plus belle histoire d'amour
c'est toi

Because he left us
We found our tender hearts.
Space once so full
Of everything
Feels such profound absence
We're touched and moved
Again and again to connect with
Our longing, genuine hearts of
sadness.
Because we do, he's with us still.

Because he left us
We found our tender hearts.
Space once so full
Of everything
Feels such profound absence
We’re touched and moved
Again and again to connect with
Our longing, genuine hearts of
sadness.
Because we do, he’s with us still.

Thank you for all the land centers. All the land that was slowly and deeply blessed in the Tibetan way. Like so many children who grew up running around RMSC or Vermont or Nova Scotia the land and the way all of you adults held that space was the biggest teaching for me. When I try to explain it I realize I'm taking about invisible space and i(…)

The Sun is resting in the West
No doubt it went from the East,
In bald truth its Shining for the Universe
The Souls Were Blooming in the Garden Of Dharma
The Radiating Smiles, healing the World,
May your Blessings be with us in all darkening periods!

You punched me in the stomach
And crumbled my aggression.
You hugged me
And opened my world.
You spoke
And woke me up.
My tears from your death
Have sealed you in my heart.

I never talked about my feelings. It was just my reality that feelings were something hidden. Those hidden feelings formed a wall on all sides, trapping me, creating more unmanageable feelings. The author emanation, Chogyam Trungpa, talked about feelings as if there is no big deal. Feelings are just what they are. I think the most fitting(…)

somewhat old
maybe a little moldy
poem of devotion

I pay homage to the glorious
Holy Guru
sometimes Nyingma, sometimes Kagyu
sometimes That luminous awakeness
which is your own mind.
I bow to the glorious
Holy Guru
the flower falling from cloudless sky
the wall of razors
cutting the vein of ego.
I prostrate to the glorious
Hol(…)

When the morning sun
Illuminates this world
Who cannot help feeling happy.
Play of delight , pervasive
Clear, sharp ,
Totally outrageous.
Ho ho!!

Remembering our encounter at the kitchen door: I set down a spoon I was drying and turned towards the doorway, and there you were, turning to face me, and we stood there silently, each looking at the other. Thank you for everything, Sir.

Love you to death.
Since I never do enough and always hesitate, the time has come to write something out of gratitude.

Being clever beyond anyone else's clever, kind beyond anyone else's kind.
So Brave and so so strong, a cosmic ocean of what we call "ultimate wisdom".
Swelling swiftly with penetrating clarity like the tidal bore in the(…)

In 1971, I had a dream unlike any I'd ever had before or since. I swam in a crystalline pool of aquamarine water with a young golden lion. Like two seals, we mirrored each other's movements, gliding effortlessly, completely synchronized and full of an intense bliss. When I awoke, the bliss continued and lasted for several days. When I encou(…)

We never met and this is your 30th Paranivarna year but you are alive and well in my life. Boundless gratitude to you and the continuing echo of your presence and inspirational light _()_

I remember being very young (a toddler) and feeling friendless at a party at the court in Boulder. I came upon Rinpoche sitting in a chair in the middle of the lawn. He was also alone and entirely unoccupied with anything, just sitting in the middle of the party as delighted adults milled about. He had at once both a vast spaciousness and a de(…)

He liked his eggs sunny side up.

One of my most difficult practices is non-attachment to the teachings of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche.

Your words and wisdom are so profound and present in my heart. I am forever grateful for the contentment, joy, fearlessness, and wisdom in my everyday life.

Across a crowded room in Boulder he caught my gaze and saw through to the origin. I have studied and practiced the dharma for 42 years and still barely fathom what was revealed in that moment. Homage to the mahasiddhi of our time. Fathomless gratitude to this man one who loved us unconditionally and never gave up on us. Thank you for haunting (…)

Simple, human and inspiring. Chogyam came to me thru Bill's lecture about Basic Goodness. Thanks both.

We never met, but you were ever present, your books profoundly influenced me and every word read true. I still seek you out in the Chronicles.

Oh my compassionate guru
I take refuge in you
Never separate from you
The way I heard you
The way you taught me
So true the way as it is

Oh my compassionate guru
Who opened the treasure
The gate of shambala
Introduced the hidden way
So true the way to shambala

Oh my compassionate guru
So amazing the way geniun sadness
S(…)

You initiated me against my resistance…you left me speechless and wondering what just happened…knowing s.th.happened that my mind couldnt grasp…too big …too vast…too mind- less…thank you!

Thank you, great, beautiful master-friend 🙂

A teacher without teacher
Meditation without sitting
Earth breathing fire drinking
Brillant and genius
Thank you!

You came to me in a book from my brother, now you and he are both gone.
You came to me in a vision, wearing a kilt, cheering me on,
It wasn't till later I knew of your connections in Scotland.
I never met you in person,
You changed my life,
I'm eternally grateful.
Blessings.

Meeting the second time.

CTR: You look younger.
Me : I cut my hair off, sir.
CTR: Are you Jewish?
Me : No sir. Italian.
CTR: Pretty much the same thing, don't you think.

uproarious laughter all around

I sit in an uneasy chair
not wanting anything otherwise,
thank you…
you had great style.

My grandmother just died this morning. Interesting it would happen today. She was 99.

PHAT

Good Morning.

To my Root Guru , the vidyadhara Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche…………………You are still haunting us after all these years. Your touch, your smile , your frown, your elegance in the midst of chaos, your laughter, your profound presence, and your vast teachings which touch our lives profoundly everyday…our path continues due to your limitl(…)

We dance and skate together
and you gave me soap to wash myself in Nova Scotia cold water
Love

Parinirvana of Chogyam Trungpa 2017

Thirty years, and still a part of me.
What a miracle you continue to be.

On Meeting a True Friend – Vancouver, February 1975

With great trepidation
I met you face-to-face
Mountain like –
you sat in your chair so still
On hearing my multi-towered stories
of sorted meditation practices
from Christian to somewhat buddhist
– an utter embodiment of spiritual materialism
embraced by total bewilderment
You l(…)

Although I live in the slime and muck of the dark age, I still aspire to see your face. Although I stumble in the thick, black fog of materialism, I still aspire to see your face.

I met you once in a dream. It was pretty good.

Once we had our duty — we could say “I am on duty ” or “I am off duty”
Now there is just our lives — each moment.

When we cook, we cook for you
When we clean our homes, we clean your Court
When we care for our children, we emulate your care for us.

When we sit, we are your throne cushion
When we stand, we stand in your presence
(…)

So the magical culture of Tibetan Buddhism
The magical discoveries of mind
Would not be lost
He dissolved it into a dot
Which he carried to the west
He raced to plant it's seeds, in our heart/mind
At our city and retreat centers, till his life was spent.
Go to SMC, to KCL, and the others. You can still feel his mind, everywhere.
The ur(…)

Chogyam Trungpa my have left before I was born, but he left behind the living essence of his teachings, and a chance for anyone to put them into practice and realise their basic goodness. Even now, he still isn't giving up on anybody.

I feel incredible gratitude to the Vidyadhara for transmitting the Buddha's beating heart to all his loving(…)

Fearless lions roar
Magical dance of majestic power
Flying to the west
Atop your wisdom tiger
Wisdom flames scorching
Spiritual materialism
Mahasiddha in suit
Transplanting the dharma
Establishing the kingdom
Of Shambhala
Your wisdom warriors ride on
With the sounds of Ki and So
Your legacy shakes the globe
Like that o(…)

From my fathers book and tales and my one of my favorites. On a plane rinpoche takes my dads hand.

CTR: take me I'm yours
John: I love you
CTR: couldn't care less

met Your Majesty
in a teardrop falling while
polishing a brass Kasung button.

Today marks the 30th anniversary of the death of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, a seminal figure in the transmission of the buddhist teachings to west.
His genius in making even the most profound buddhist teachings accessible in English while not sacrificing an iota of their integrity, is now universally recognized, including by many who may have (…)

Poem for the Vidyadhara Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche
Upon his death April 4, 1987

On a cloudy day I saw your face.
It was stretched across the sky.
Everywhere I looked, there you were.
The wind blew through your hair.
All sounds became mantras
Streaming from your mouth.
I longed to hold you, but you dissolved.
Finally, empty-handed, sit(…)

Although I never formally met you or experienced you in your nirmanakaya, I've been blessed to have the guidance by one of your students. My teacher has shared many wonderful stories and it is quite clear to see that you are very much alive in her heart every moment. I did had a wonderful dream with you years ago, one that I still remember viv(…)

As fresh as dewdrops in the morning,
Your words of wisdom drips upon me.
Without any hindrance or boundary,
Your lights of love shines from afar to reach me.
Though we’ve never met before in this life,
Your presence is always here with no doubt.
My precious Father, please bear me in mind,
So that you’ll recognize me when I appear in yo(…)

Thank you
For stranding me in Cape Breton
Among the eagles and hawks
Riding the wind.

You're still dead,
still alive in my heart.
Time and space
are not an obstacle.

4.4.2016

4.4.2016

We miss you so much
Your kindness is more overwhelming now
Than it was then.

We were stupid and speedy
But your powerful tenderness
Is unforgettable

You gave us the Ashe in our hearts.
It is our ally.
There is no separation.

We can ride the wind, feel the space, be the clarity,
And touch your magnificent profundi(…)

There is a cliff in my Kansas Life –
A knife cut to the bone
Through artery and ligament, he
Instructed me.

There is a pit in front of next
That opens with a pop, he
Showed me with a sake glass
And Japan fan

I loved what was to come, he
Jilted me. This morning, the slight
Weight of eyeglasses on nose – twenty-nine
Years awake in(…)

I can't tell anymore

I can't tell anymore
which part of my mind's mine
and which part of it's yours.,
the whole of existence. That
was a neat trick you pulled.
Thanks a lot,
you enlightened genius

Because of our weakness
your genuine sadness
blazes through the jungle of samsara
like a tiger breathing fire

Because of our pain
snow lion petrifies doubt

Because of your beauty
Garuda picks clean the bones of contention
and sweeps the vast sky with joy

Because of your brilliance
the turquoise dragon
spins mountains of sanity(…)

Dear friends and Sangha members ,
4.4.2015

C'est avec une grande joie que je lève mon verre en l'honneur du VCTR.
IN BRIEF I MAKE A TOAST.
Between the VCTR and me , it is a long LOVE AFFAIR . I have been lucky to meet him in Europe. I used to run to see him every time I heard he was giving teaching in England or Germany.
It was him who (…)

April 4, 2015

Winter snow engollops us
in the bottom of a teacup

Affairs of the world: abrupt
airliner drops on Alp — all dead

Dead guru cries in my mind’s eye,
then stops.
Then pops a cap in my puffed pride

Dead guru lies under hate
like silence between harsh words

Flies in the face of ignorance,
as I erupt in irritation(…)

SIR WARRIOR
4.4.2015

that lecture in Berkeley
Your chair
nearly tipping
off the stage
leaves me in freefall

Meek Tiger
4.8.2015

You have created
Strong cocktails of conception
But what about the reality of your own death.
What is intoxicating about that?
Do you realize you are nearly dead right now
The conceptions that once were
Have become a merry go round at the fair
Fun but pointless.
A ride
But not satisfying.
And there you sit (…)

some notes while listening to Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche
4.4.2015
one more word
one taste

now
a sense

a chance
to understand

here
now

yesterday today tomorrow
cleaning house zen way

life is an endless ocean
or else it is one drop

nothings left behind

and the sutra is written all over

it is not
rather than no

(…)

SUN OF HAPPINESS
4.4.2014
The sun of happiness is dawning
Melting icegardens of my heart
Illuminating
Crystalsnow chrysanthemums
Warming my world
With brief promise
Of spring

4/4/14

A rock is not enlightened
because a rock is not confused.
I am not enlightened, I think.
It is all so confusing.
Chogyam Trungpa is enlightened,
so they say.
On the day he died,
We drove all night, and cried.
What lives? What dies?
I see him in new
students, in their thoughts, their hearts
alive, in their eyes.

James M.(…)

Homage to the Only Father Guru

Hum Hum Hum

In the sacred place of the glorious Copper Colored Mountain,
Ablaze with the source of dharmas,
flower petals rain from the sky,
Shimmering with the lights of the five families,
Whose trees and greenery adorn the awesome charnal ground,
Is the dwelling place of the only father guru,
(…)

Hum Hum Hum

In the sacred place of the glorious Copper Colored Mountain,
Ablaze with the source of dharmas,
flower petals rain from the sky,
Shimmering with the lights of the five families,
Whose trees and greenery adorn the awesome charnal ground,
Is the dwelling place of the only father guru,
Chogyam Trungpa Dorje Trollo Karma(…)

Dearest Rinpoche,

You are always vividly present
whenever i look in your eyes –
its always happening – one look
& we fly in the big blue sky

-Susan Ross

Even though we know better, sometimes we miss you.

Unable to clearly discern between movement and emptiness, we've been misled by our own fickleness.
And because of that, we think you are separate from us — so we miss you.
Now, our only solace is memory — which is simply the flicker of mind's motion itself.
So we cling to thoughts of (…)

Sunlight

Glistening on one thread
Of an unfinished spider web
Expresses my entire existence

THE GREAT SUN

With the ravenous appetite of a pregnant woman
I crave
Not kitchen sunshine
But the naked sun
To lie in blazing rays
Turn red, turn brown, turn crisp
Till blood boils
Eyes pop and sizzle down seared cheeks
Heart bursts in a shower of clotting blood
Tongue bloats and splits
Till skin burns away and flesh shr(…)

ZERO DEGREES FAHRENHEIT

Zero degrees this morning at nine
Still, the cabin is warm
And frosted landscapes glazed on window panes
Are melting in the sun's rise.
It's good to face the east.

Today's sun seems to fill all space
Above the mountains
Glaring enormous blue-white brilliant haze
Around the radiant core.
I cannot l(…)

SUN SPIDER

The great sun shone again this morning
Making a mockery of all my dreams
Revealing them as tinfoil flimsy in his light
Give them all up, he said
And look at me
I toil not, but I spin
A most seductive web
Sucking you in to pool of energy
That is not yours nor mine
You can share it if you really want
But first
(…)

SUN OF WISDOM

Wisdom dawns as emptiness today
Teaching me once again
Not to ask questions
For you only get answers
Not to force issues
That deception is a tissue-thin film of lies.
But the perpetual fool
Still makes lists.

LOTUS SUN

In the poetry of your presence
No words are needed
The delight in your eyes
Reflects the moon
Movement of your hands
Is liquid sunshine
Fragrance of mind
Like a lotus bloom

LILY KING, SUN KING
4.4.2014
Lily King, Sun King
Sitting on the throne of light
Blazed with glory
Shining through the hall of mirrors
Ministers, nobles
And the golden-tresséd queen

Lily King, Sun King
Sitting on the chair of darkness
Ebony burnished
Marked with all the signs of might
Golden chevrons
You will judge us(…)

SUN DRAGON
4.4.2014
Dragon king
Riding storm of night
Blowing on waves
With breath of molten fire
What do you see
Through darkest space
Lighting the sky
Like a blazing midnight sun

Tower beams strength
Spurting scarlet-clotted streams
Wing ballroom of the heavens
Spitting brilliant tongues of flame
Dancing with skyw(…)

SUN LOVE SUN
4.4.2014
Breakfasting
Before the sunmist sun
Breaking through cloudy mind
Sweeping away discursive patterns
Brushing cobwebs
Off ancient rhymes
Continuity
Often not expressed
But recognized in space of thought
Longing to see your glory
Hungry for your kiss
Sunmist
Gentle on my mind

Once having held yo(…)

SUNDAY
4.4.2014
Lord Sun
Protector
We are closest at this moment
For the year
Lofted on wings of metaphor
There’s no hope to reach your height
But climbing mountain trail
May ease the loss

Empty sun
Yet you seem to be so full
Blazing every radiant color
Shading in and out of phase
Beyond an eyelashed glimpse
Afrai(…)

Zero degrees this morning at nine
Still, the cabin is warm
And frosted landscapes glazed on window panes
Are melting in the sun's rise.
It's good to face the east.

Today's sun seems to fill all space
Above the mountains
Glaring enormous blue-white brilliant haze
Around the radiant core.
I cannot look for long.

Sunlight (…)

Dearest Rinpoche,

You are always vividly present
whenever i look in your eyes –
its always happening – one look
& we fly in the big blue sky

A rock is not enlightened
because a rock is not confused.
I am not enlightened, I think.
It is all so confusing.
Chogyam Trungpa is enlightened,
so they say.
On the day he died,
We drove all night, and cried.
What lives? What dies?
I see him in new
students, in their thoughts, their hearts
alive, in their eyes.

Poem a Recollection of the Guru Trungpa Rinpoche
4.4.2013
Being,
Held in your crushing embrace
I knew the certainty of groundlessness and felt
a young man’s strength unleashed in a moment,
so sweet
almost beyond reach within me.
Almost terrifying the power of a moments joy
just sitting within your reach or across a room.
How could I (…)

Generic Buddha
4.4.2013
I

Like the unnamed official
who opens Harlem fire hydrants
offers cool mist to sweltering
confused black children, barefoot
on August Manhattan tarmacs,
generic Buddha
ultimate product you can be found anywhere

II

Unnamed and plain wrapped
that inconceivable combination
of new-old ingredients
Oh what(…)

Video Vidyadhara
4.4.2014
Blissful smile pushing up chubby cheeks
Punctuated by dimples and a giggle—
You were and are my magnetizing nirmanakaya guru.
Eloquent gentleman’s Tiblish dharma,
Transmitted with right hand of upaya’s vajra mudras,
Speaking to a hoodlum ‘70’s crowd—
You were and are the Buddha for our time.
Sipping amrita (…)

24th PARANIRVANA POEM
4.8.2011
by Stephen Futral on Monday, April 4, 2011 at 11:43pm

seeing your face again / hearing your voice
listening to your truth
i am reminded of all you gave
unconditionally and how i sometimes
feared being in your presence…
skin being peeled, exposed painfully
looking into the layers of ego the
residue t(…)

Toast to the Vidyadhara
4.4.2011
When I first saw you, you showed me the way home
When I first met you, you invited me in to home
When you instructed me to breath out into space, you taught me that the world is home.

You traversed our beautiful, tender, sad, and lonely planet to offer your world to ours
To gift us with the precious lin(…)

Doha to Trungpa Rinpoche
4.4.2011
When I first met Rinpoche,
He met my restlessness with a blissful smile.
Later he would tickle me and call me “sweetheart”.
Once when I was distress, he pinched my ass.

Over the years I saw angry friends meet his mirror and melt.
I saw arrogant friends become devoted and loyal.
I saw jealous friends (…)

DJKR on dualism
4.4.2011
[excerpt from DJKR’s commentary on the Parting from the Four Attachments, Nepal 2009, from Talk 10: ]

… We tend to forget that from the time we got out of bed this morning until the time we go to bed this evening, whatever we will have experienced today, including all the faces, breakfast, our friends and famil(…)

Meeting Buddha in your brain
First get acquainted with discipline,
which in this case is learning to hear the chatter.
To make karma workable, notice it working.
Attend to the engine rumbling between your ears:
the voice, or voices, or — hey, that’s just me! —
that spins the scoop, the everyday play-by-play,
sharing airtime with com(…)

The haunting continues–Parinirvana Day 2011
4.4.2011
Chogyam Trungpa? Oh yeah, I remember him. Every April 4th it’s the same–one damn thing after another. Today was no exception.

I caught flak for missing a deadline at work, but yeah, it’s true: I wasted time instead of remembering my promise to finish on time. As if that wasn’t bad eno(…)

With appreciation, again, for the Vidyadhara…
4.4.2011
Lately, I translate backwards. Though growing up Jewish, like many of my friends, I sought out other things, turning in the 70s to our Shambhala, then Vajradhatu/Dharmadhatu communities.

Today, among my other activities, I also try to bring fresh eyes to Jewish practice. I did purch(…)

CTR Now and then
4.4.2011
Very sweet, brought me up and in front of Rinpoche in a way I had not recalled in a very long time. Yet he was so present and powerful just now and then….wow!

Ki Ki
Jackie Muse

Parinirvana 2011
4.4.2011
Sometimes it was pleasure…
sometimes it was pain…
always crystal clear intensity
like standing next to blast
furnace of precise seeing…
like being onstage in front of
an infinite audience of one…
standing on earth, yet falling
through space, the damndest
feeling…like wanting to jump
out of my own(…)

Dorje Dradul Doha
4.4.2011
Dorje Dradul,
When you walk through the jungle of samsara,
You are like a powerful striped tiger flashing teeth.

When you leap to the rocky mountains of the highest view,
You are like a white snow lion enjoying sacred outlook.

When you are gone into the space of dharmata,
You are like the king of garudas,(…)

The Guru is Still Alive
The guru is still alive.
I dream he is smiling at me,
as I peer from a hallway into a sitting room.
There he is, chatting in Tibetan on a large sofa with Khyentse Rinpoche.
They look so comfortable.
I notice an attendant too,
but then the door to the hallway closes.
Still, I get the message that he is enjoying h(…)

Praise to Trungpa Rinpoche

Praise to Rinpoche in Surmang,

Monastic student and prolific, young, vajra master.

Praise to you who escaped to India and leapt to the British Isles.

Praise to you who went to Tak Seng, giving us all the Sadhanna of Mahamudra.

Praise to you leaping to North America,

Magnetizing students to Tail of t(…)

Praise to Trungpa Rinpoche

Praise to Rinpoche in Surmang,

Monastic student and prolific, young, vajra master.

Praise to you who escaped to India and leapt to the British Isles.

Praise to you who went to Tak Seng, giving us all the Sadhanna of Mahamudra.

Praise to you leaping to North America,

Magnetizing students to Tail of t(…)

ENDLESSLY GIVING

Court chatter,
baby blue and gold,
madness in my household,
warriorship in my living room,
never truly understanding the beauty of your chaos.

Monarch of your breath,
hard and soft cosmic touch,
tickles or cuts,

feather or razor blade,
today and tomorrow,
difficult problems of non-attachment.

Loving father,(…)

The Explorers

Because each day is the same
each moment is new
Because we never leave town,
right here: an unexplored world
Because we are lifelong lovers,
each touch: a nameless delight

Today marks the secret entrance—
a gap in the hedgerow
Always we are working out the details
bending low to enter
and finding ourselves (once ag(…)

We are all Sakyongs and Sakyong Wangmos

Eat the rice

Drink the milk

Swallow the teachings on white paper

Smile at the Guru

Stunned in ordinary magic

You float into the day AWAKE!

Shambhala Revolution

Give everything away in the snap of the fingers

No more green stamps!

No more Macdonalds!

No more countries, no (…)

SUPPLICATION BEYOND TIME

When we were insane beasts blinded by our own obsessions,
You became the Wild Yogi who paralyzed us in mid air.
When we were the horde, ravishing a corrupt heritage,
You became the youthful prince encompassing our innocence.
When we set out to conquer the meager territory of self clemency,
You became a Warrior (…)

I think of the guru
I remember Trungpa Rinpoche.
I remember the wide smile and Cheshire teeth,
the cowboy shirt with suspenders,
and sometimes a cowboy hat.
I think of the crazy wisdom guru and remember velvet eyes looking over glass rims.
I think of the guru.
I remember Chogyam's chubby hands gracefully playing with a vajra,
skillfull(…)

Above stars

Alone beneath these stars

I sometimes wonder how far

And how I long to be alone

To wish away desires

Like a tossed skipping stone

Moving towards right mindfulness

A broken past surely won’t be missed

And with each patient moment

A little more revealed

To tickle new insights

Moving me to heal
(…)

3D Stupa in Google Earth

On this 22 anniversary of the parinirvana of the Vidyadhara Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche I would like to make the small offering of a virtual stupa (which is not entirely finished) that can be seen at the virtual SMC in Google Earth. First get the Google Earth program FREE at http://earth.google.com/download-earth.html (…)

Chogyam Trungpa
By Lee Weingrad
(To the tune of "Joe Hill")

I dreamed I saw the Vidyadhara
alive as you and me.
Says I "But Boss, you're twenty years dead"
"I never died" said he,
"I never died" said he.

"The 3 Lords killed you Sir,
they shot you Boss" says I.
"Takes more than maras to kill a man"
Says the Boss "I didn't die"
S(…)

Allies

Underneath
There is always a tender heart

A promise to fulfill
A sunrise for the faithful
A whisper for the waiting

Chaos for the insightful
Dissapointment for the clever
Wonder for the fearless
and soft-hearted

Protectors await
to melt arrogance and self-righteousness

How can we draw lines
When our allies are so (…)

Poem for Chogyam Trungpa Tribute Page

For the Eyes of the Solitary Warrior Only
The War was Never Begun.
The Battle Never Ends.
Winning and Losing are Costly Illusions.

The Solitary Warrior Knows when to Engage.
Make a Good Dinner; Be Sure and Place Flowers.

by Philip A. Bralich, Ph.D. from c1990 Vajrayogini Fire Puja.

So … you have brought me here
To the land of the Red Moon
Ruled by the dark Dao Shonu
Nevertheless I shall prostrate to Vajradhara
From Sun up to Sun down
Occassionally watching the rats eat the apples
Whilst I drink my tea and stroke Lama Red
Or hear the people laugh as the sun is caught in the mound
& the double rainbow appears
S(…)

A toast to the Dorje Dradul of Mukpo Dong

It is amazing how fearful I am when facing you. I always was and may always be. Here I am again–a simple request to make a toast to you–has roused that fear again.

As I sit at the feet of the most profound, the most brilliant, the most just, the most powerful, the most all victorious person I h(…)

You are entering my vajra word
-Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

Never forget the Hinayana
Never forget blue/red moths on ratna bathhouse
Never forget almond liquid soap
Never forget humming bird in my eye
Never forget 13 dollar sake box
Never forget oriyoki lessons without speech
Never forget staying up for thirty hours
Never f(…)

I pay homage

I pay homage to the glorious
Holy Guru
sometimes Nyingma, sometimes Kagyu
sometimes That luminous awakeness
which is your own mind.
I bow to the glorious
Holy Guru
the flower falling from cloudless sky
the wall of razors
cutting the vein of ego.
I prostrate to the glorious
Holy Guru
the torch lighting the way
the r(…)

Gratitude

Let me be thankful every moment of every day
And not just for a few moments on Thanksgiving Day
In this world, full of pain, horror, love and courageousness

Somewhere someone is tortured and hunted while I am free of fear
Their suffering is as deep as the darkest chasm

Somewhere someone is without is without the food, med(…)

Haunting , As You Promised.

I would like to dream about you to ease this longing,
but your presence continues on in everything, everywhere,
so what could a dream of you satisfy?
You are there always, you are not there at all.

Sometimes I think I see you driving in another car on the L.A. freeway.
That would be so like you to show up(…)

You nailed it

Born and bred in Tibet,
you clipped your fingernails
into the batter of Western mindlessness
and made organic hole wheat.

The first time I met you,
you stole my mind
actually, not mind
you stole my self
for a few moments.

Your fingernails of unimpededness
were eaten by the hungry students:
Mukpo keratin.
You r(…)

Attendant??.
ET Guru
Waiting at the door
Falling at the door
Through the years
Of madness
To a point of kissing Angels
Loved and very distant
ET Guru shuffles off
Backstaged ? intensely watching
Worlds/indifferences/demons
Confusions/contests/clarities
Of references points
Annihilated by nectar
In Londons' public houses
ET Guru
(…)

1988 RMDC dathun – toast

“I’ve no independent knowledge of meeting Chogyam Trungpa in person, face-to-face.”

In 1988 at Rocky Mountain Shambhala Center, at a banquet following a dathun (4-week sitting period) I offered a toast “to the sangha” This new word was one I associated with “family” and I offered the words to those left in the wa(…)

20 years ago

we had gone to the ocean to release lobsters that would have otherwise been eaten
a ransom gift for Rinpoche's life

I never thought he would-somehow …
anyway

there we were out on the ocean, where I loved to take walks
and extremely odd occurrence: there were tons of people there just looking at the water
for the wa(…)

I was looking for you all over
and couldn't find you anywhere.
When I rested my mind in sadness
your presence became overwhelming,
displaying phenomena dancing.

Karma Phun Tso Cho Dron (Angelika)

April 4- April 8, 1987

Only father guru,
I would like to say
I never doubted you.
I never mistrusted you.
I never forgot you.
I have doubted myself
a hundred times a day
I have mistrusted myself
a hundred times an hour
I have forgotten myself
with every passing moment
I have forgotten practice
I have forgotten that
without prac(…)

Supplication

I thought that I had left,
But I'm only in a wider orbit.
What did I learn?
What did I take with me to the world?

Your words ("Don't drop it!"), when handing me
my bodhisattva name.
The echo of a drum,
thudding like a heartbeat
through the halls of a hotel.

– Decorum Moon

I was too young, or maybe just too immature, to have been Trungpa Rinpoche's student in this life. But somehow, even before Trungpa passed away, I was very fortunate in that I met Khyentse Rinpoche and spent many months in His presence. When the Vidyadhara passed away I dreamt I was in an a bedroom in the country with dormer windows. I imagine(…)

poem for CTR
For CTR

I.

I saw some green
on the beginning of earth hour
Hospice of light in the city's
diminished garden.
A jumble, a ruse, of impossible
Avenues
by lateral means.
Up and down no longer viable but true.
I saw some green–
smoke on the mountain rising
as we looked to the sky.
Then,
there was nothing.

II.

(…)

Haunted / Desperately Seeking an Exorcist
Every morning it wakes me up
Bouncing on the bed like a newborn baby
Wanting to go out and play
Yelling, "Change my nappie."

Every night it crawls into bed with me
Old and complaining like Methuselah
Snoring
Then wanting me to take it to the bathroom for a pee
Or the kitchen for a snack

I(…)

Tribute to CTR
I first saw you on forbidden film as I fixed computers at DDL
The magical words and offerings
And I, a novice sitter forlorn at the new death
That brought me here to your seat
In the heart of the mandala
Sitting…

In the staff house…
Stories from the elders
Gin and tonic musings
Laughing and sharing
…I only saw (…)

Here's the story
I met the Vidyadhara in 1972. I had heard two people talking about him in the waiting room of a clinic in Madison, Wisconsin, where I was living at the time. I overheard them say something about this cool Tibetan teacher that smoked cigarettes and drank liquor while he gave his talks, and something clicked for me. So, I moved(…)

For Trungpa Rinpoche
Once again, last evening,
you described to us
what you saw, who you met and what was said
in the cave at Taktsang

It is nearly forty years
since you were there, for several weeks,
high on that cliff
overlooking the Paro valley.

They say the Queen of Bhutan
arranged for you to do a retreat there,
in the place(…)

C.T. Mukpo's Open Heart Club Clan
(With a tip of the hat to Sgt. Pepper!)

It was twenty years ago today,
having shown us how to work and play,
how to comb our hair and change our style,
and eventually how to smile,
he left on our own to do
the act we've worked on all these years:
C.T. Mukpo's Open Heart Club Clan
We're C.T. Mukpo's (…)

Chogyam and Jesus
It is Holy week and I am thinking about Trungpa Rinpoche.

As a Christian who practices Buddhist meditation, I have spent much time reflecting on the confluence of different religious traditions. In a culture where Christian faith is often associated with political views and lifestyles that make me bristle, I am perenniall(…)

Mud Season in These Parts (near Karme Choling)
Did it look like this
when you first surveyed the ground–
barren, brown,
and everywhere you look,
mud?
Takes a keen eye
to see summer's flowers or autumn's abundance
in this mess.

But then a keen eye comes from experience
and you brought lifetimes of it to these parts.
You also broug(…)

Invoking the energy

Invoking the energy of CTR can really only be done with extreme skill, extreme gap, or a lot of poetry. At the NYC feast on Wednesday night, we had a lot of the third by two awesome women, no less. Anne Waldman and Lanny Harrison rocked the shrine room, invoking Alan Ginsberg, "vintage Anne", and "vintage Lanny", among o(…)

Gazing At His Consort
What do you see when you look at her?
Does she look like she has been some where?
How would you like to take that trip
Will you insist on knowing the fare?

The ticket from here to there is pricey.
First your soul is on the list.
It was a comforting notion for a very long time.
But now we all know it doesn't exis(…)

No fooling!
Thirty-two years ago today, Rinpoche asked me to help him play an April Fool joke on the sangha.

He thought a while and then asked me to call Vajradhatu and pretend to be some person in the San Francisco sangha (I can't remember who) and say that the Shambhala bookstore had burned down and that Sam (Bercholz) had gone to the ho(…)

More glorious than multicoloured banners and pennants blowing in the breeze,
More beautiful than strings of pearls, jewel crowns, and golden or bone jewelry ornamenting dancing dakas and dakinis of our mind,
More valuable than all the wealth and resources of the world,
More powerfully peaceful than symphonies of soothing music,
More powerf(…)

Sun of Mukpo

The first time that we gathered to watch you die,
I experienced great joy at seeing you again.
There was no doubt that you were yourself–
magnificent in spite of tubes and bruises.
This brought great faith in the only father guru.

The second time that we gathered for your death,
I made a vow to fulfill your wishes:
Ma(…)

Most any question I had he said,
"Find Out"

JK
New Ipswich NH

First you were my saviour
You rescued my family from hippie days
You saved us from sloppiness
and, thank goodness, everything wasn't "beautiful" anymore
Then you were my father figure
Offering advice and words of encouragement
"Don't smoke pot."
"You should try meditation!"
"Watch out for the Mukpo wrath."

Finally, at last, you were(…)

Alone
on a river bank

in Gypsum, Colorado with a body of red flames,
hollow and sensuous,
moist and alive
and burning the real stuff
of the world.

The day runs on
like the river.
Morning is gone.
Afternoon is underway.

Is there something I can do as he did
to soothe the suffering of beings?

-Jigme
May 1987

Simple Gratitude

I cannot think of anyone who could not benefit from the Shambhala Teachings. I have said this often to myself, and occasionally to others. I am not evangelistic, but simply grateful to the Vidyadhara that he so fully opened his life to both receiving and transmitting the dharma. Although I never met him, I have benefited so(…)

CHRONICLE: On Synchronicity

Upon my Aunt Rose's clear vinyl-fitted white sofa,
a third-grade boy by myself doing what I was told
to do, looking at National Geographic:

White & red pagoda-like cliffside retreat a
three-week walk from the nearest road awed
me at the thought of such profound solitude- *

Harkening back to my first ink(…)

poem
Parinirvana of Chogyam Trungpa Chokyi Gyatso 04.05.2007

Earth's powdery breath exhaled this morning
Drawn in again for the meltdown
Deer's hoofs rhythmically pound the forest floor
Like pistons pulsing under my hood
Carburetor choking out its carbon load
I set out for the day's gleaning
Another automotive bardo as I sit
Nailed (…)

Parinirvana

For a long time
I had many dreams
That you had come back
And I cried my joy to you.
We had a private joke
When the sangha saw
A video of the old days
And didn't recognize themselves.
You were always as close
As my own mind.
I told you everything.
You taught me to stay true,
Gave me the courage
To stay true.

When (…)

An Offering in Appreciation

Sitting here
Lost in thought
A taste of limitless freshness cuts through, illuminates
Nothing changed
And keeps changing
But when?

DJ

April 4, 2007
In morning rain

twenty years ago, a robin

today the full moon.

-Reed Bye

5.28.2007

I was looking for you all over
I was looking for you all over
And couldn't find you anywhere
When I rested my mind in sadness
Your presence become overwhelming
Displaying phenomena dancing

From Angelika Siaw (Karma Phun Tso Cho Dron)
Sadhakha living in Kenya

Green and Brown in Summer Heat

They mingle, the green and brown, pounded by the black and tan.
The black and tan do hard and soft on the breast of the meadow.
Our practice materials are greygreen.
Our armour is tan.
Our minds are hard and soft as we practice.
Naked heat, exertion, rain, and insects, our ghanta and dorje,
Softness and (…)

This text arose spontaneously
This text arose spontaneously in a moment out of my subconscious (or we could say, the sambhogakaya.) It expresses the most intimate level of my relationship with Rinpoche and I think also expresses that ideal or optimal state one may be in of the guru and the student meeting naked in the charnel ground. Of cours(…)