By Ken Bowles
In the early 1970s at age 29, I was diagnosed with an incurable medical condition called Retinitis Pigmentosa that would result in progressive deterioration of my eyesight and blindness. In 1972, I attended a weekend seminar with Chogyam Trungpa on The Mandala of the Five Buddha Families held in a gymnasium in Barnet, Vermont. Each evening after the talk ended, students would line up for a chance to have a few words with Rinpoche. The first night of the program I got in line. When my turn came I told Rinpoche, “My eyesight is starting to deteriorate. It is genetic. I can’t get rid of it. The doctors tell me that I will be functionally blind in my 50s. It’s freaking me out. Can you explain how I can integrate this experience into my Dharma practice?”
Rinpoche said, “Well, actually, it is a blessing.” I didn’t say anything after that. There were a lot of people behind me. I just wanted to get out of there and let them ask their questions. But Rinpoche’s answer stuck with me and the next night, after the talk, I lined up again. When I got to the front, I asked Rinpoche, “Why did you say that this condition, this loss of eyesight, is a blessing?” He just looked up to me and said, “Because it is real. It’s very real.”
I’ve thought about this a lot over the years and, more and more, it seems right. It is very real. It is the thoughts about it that cause the suffering – being dominated and terrorized by foreboding thoughts such as, “What am I going to do in the future, blah, blah, blah.” That kind of thing. Of course, I am 83 years old now, so I don’t have to worry about that anymore. But it brings out a lot of good in other people, I can tell you that. I have had so much help from so many good people over the course of my life. And more and more I have come to realize that it is not a painful thing. It is very inconvenient. Mentally, it used to torment me. But it doesn’t anymore. It just doesn’t. I think all of our suffering is mental — what we think about what we are experiencing. And knowing that is a blessing.
