Dahlia (Menendez) Bader

For each of us who have heard of Ricky‘s passing and who experienced his warmth, good cheer, dharma and loving kindness, we may write or choose not to write something to be read by others about what he meant to us or what experience we may have had of him, but since Ricky gave me nothing but loving kindness and in that showed me the spirit of his heart’s generosity, if you, dear reader, will please forgive that I’d rather speak directly to him. Dearest Ricky, It saddens me deeply to know you are gone, And to learn now that you suffered the illnesses that you did, saddens me even more. we never know why some people seem to get through life in better circumstances, while others do not. We may call it karma as if it is something that is stamped on us from which we may or may not have any say or make efforts to correct or improve even more, but it is part of the great mystery why some of the worst people seem to have better lives, while some of the best are fettered and subject difficulties , but I am praying and wishing that now that your body has reached its end that your sweet, sweet spirit will find its home and resonance where you are happiest and free. I know that you loved the Dharma and Trungpa Rinpoche and your daughter, Zoe, and granddaughter, Anastasia, and your former wife, Petra, and your family in Montreal very much. I know how proud you were of Zoe and Anastasia. I know that your life had betrayal, disappointment, confusion, pain and struggle and that it also had an amazing war vibrancy which is what I felt when I was with you. I know your life had all kinds of love, love, and joy, and laughter and friends and family who deeply appreciated you as I do and that we thank you and will miss you. I am praying for you, Ricky, and thanking you for your brotherly love, your wise dharmic counsel, for your support and your friendship, and for the scotch we shared the last time that we were together, not that long ago. To have been there with you In the spirit of your sweet, fatherly, spacious counsel was a privilege and honor. In remembering a few other times, I remember the first time that you made steak tartar for me, a naïve, conventional, ignorant girl in my 20s, who was beginning to see the world only because our root guru who was opening everything up for us. I have ever since had a penchant for raw meat. I’m serious, Ricky, I go to the store, buy organic bison And can’t wait to get home to eat it straight out of the package without the tartar part. I tell myself it is direct protein, and so I give you the credit for providing that nutritional support to my life. There I have confessed it now. And I remember when I was broke, trying to stay close to the guru in Boulder where my previous years of work experience in the airline industry did little good, you gave me a job in the painting company that you and Petra owned. I remember that we were in an old Victorian style building about to begin painting the interior trim of the window frames. I remember that you taught me how to cut, or, ‘cut in’, a term familiar to professional painters. And I want you to know that recently when I had to hire a crew to repaint my apartment , I trained each one personally in the same way that you taught me. I am grateful to the Karma that we shared as we found ourselves as vajra brother and sister in the Dharma. I can only hope and continue to pray that no matter what the circumstances, that I will carry and share the same heart that you shared with me. Thank you, dear friend, dear Ricky. All the best, may all the best be yours. We love you.