April 4- April 8, 1987 Only father guru, I would like to say I never doubted you. I never mistrusted you. I never forgot you. I have doubted myself a hundred times a day I have mistrusted myself a hundred times an hour I have forgotten myself with every passing moment I have forgotten practice I have forgotten that without practice you don't know when you're screwing up I have forgotten you Mistrusted you and Doubted you. You never doubted me You never mistrusted me You never forgot me You always knew, you were - You are the very embodiment of practice You have always known me Nothing to doubt, mistrust, forget. Your death makes no difference unless You are even more present It is easier not to doubt Not mistrust Not forget. All this is my feast offering. Accept it, only father Please continue to Shower me with your kindness Please continue Please continue Please continue Until in a hundred or a thousand kalpas I may merit such unconditional regard. Gail Whitacre