The haunting continues--Parinirvana Day 2011
4.4.2011
Chogyam Trungpa? Oh yeah, I remember him. Every April 4th it's the same--one damn thing after another. Today was no exception.
I caught flak for missing a deadline at work, but yeah, it's true: I wasted time instead of remembering my promise to finish on time. As if that wasn't bad enough, I went outside shortly afterwards and some jerk of a parking official had given me a ticket. Yeah, it's true: I was parked in a loading zone, but he could have given me a break...
Even though I wasn't hungry, to make myself feel better I went down to the local cafe to get one of their wonderful lemon squares. There was one left and I ordered it, but the barista dropped it on the floor, lemon side down, as he was getting it out of the display case. "Sorry", he said; "It was the last one". I replied, "It's been that kind of day" and left...
Later, as I got into my Kasung uniform as the sword-bearer in a procession to place the Vidyadhara's relics next to the shrine for a Parinirvana day Padmasambhava feast, I realized that I had forgotten to get the pin backing on my cap badge re-attached after it broke off months ago. I couldn't show up "out of uniform", so I used contact cement to glue the parts together at the last minute. I half expected the newly cemented badge to drop at my feet with a loud clatter in front of a hundred people. It turned out fine, but I felt curiously levelled rather than excited by the whole thing.
Of course, because I still need to meet my deadline, I couldn't stay for the feast and am now headed back to work overtime. At least I got to salute him in the midst of my self-induced chaos.
Yes, I remember Chogyam Trungpa--when he was alive I felt him most strongly as a mirror for my mind. Days like today leave me feeling that now I have the sharpest, clearest mirror right here in my own mind, and endlessly, inexpressibly grateful.
Nick Wright