20 years ago
we had gone to the ocean to release lobsters that would have otherwise been eaten
a ransom gift for Rinpoche's life
I never thought he would-somehow ...
anyway
there we were out on the ocean, where I loved to take walks
and extremely odd occurrence: there were tons of people there just looking at the water
for the water was full of ice
the whole harbour had filled with ice
an uncommon thing to happen
uncommon things happen when uncommon people are around
Rinpoche had been in bed for quite a long time
I was the housekeeper and had the wondrous task of cleaning his room
slowly and fully
Rinpoche was sometimes like a shaft of wheat without the kernel
all used up and shrunken
then the next day he would be "back" his body would be filled again
like the wheat kernel had been reinserted in the chaff
to be with him somehow stilled fear of dying
there was no fear
I kept my mind in a meditative state as much as possible, hoping to not disturb him
so it went
one day they took him to the hospital, another day they brought him back
I was gone for a bit and when I came back he was still sick and again in the hospital
so off we went to take the lobster to the ocean
back home for them, although a bit polluted near Halifax
people asked us what we were doing
it was a strange site, people carrying lobsters back to the ocean
luckily Joseph (Parent) knew what to say
he explained when a great teacher is ill it is an ancient custom
to release beings who would otherwise be killed
so the lobsters went back to their home
a few days later, I as sitting in the sun for it was 24 degrees
unheard of in early April in Halifax, N.S.
but then unusual things happen when there are unusual people around
my then husband, Richard, called to say: come to the shrine room
Rinpoche is dying and we are to do chants to ask him to live
off I went, not believing he could die
hadn't he just said at '82 seminary that our practice would keep him alive for 10 more years
lots of shrine candles, so many that some broke from the heat
shrine full of light
beautiful chant
heart wrenching
then a call
we all went to the court
as I walked in through the front door, I felt on the verge of loosing my mind
not just my seat
and there in full suit and tie as kasung was Silas, my son this lifetime, and he said something
something so true and to the point that it brought me back
fully present, open and willing
I was able somehow, I think due to Joudie (Westman Adolf),
to be present as they checked Rinpoche's body
they pinched his skin and felt the area around his heart
his skin was supple like a living person's and his heart warm
we stayed practicing there with Rinpoche for 5 days
5 days of being in CCL
not needing food nor sleep
just being in Rinpoche's mind
there was a nun, a French nun
she was with me practicing through all that time
I had not seen her before nor since
she said Rinpoche would be in samadhi for 5 days
and that turned out to be true
after the samadhi, we actually felt hungry and tired again
sometime within all of that practice
I acted as a guide bringing sangha who were arriving from
all over the world from the airport to Halifax to be with Rinpoche
not sure how that happened, as memory of the time is open and vast
not fitable into time and space
Many sangha and friends of sangha came to be there together in Rinpoche's mind
Rinpoche's total compassion
to the heart
all encompassing
being there
knowing that state fully, in every cell
unforgettable teaching beyond words
after the samadhi
off we went to KCL
serving Dilgo Khyentse and the four princes
sound as mantra
the trucks on the highway arising as dhamarus and bells
walking up the hill in procession
bagpipes in the fog crying to the guru
khatas
the fire
billowing smoke
in the clear blue sky
rainbows circling the sun
turquoise dragon thundering
mind stopped
outrageous things happen when outrageous people are around
may VCTR haunt us along with the dralas for all lifetimes till we realize enlightenment
- Hellen Newland, Chaplain