Richard Reoch Dissolves Into Light


Please note the date of this post.

In this first ever miracle involving a white male, Shambhala’s president has dissolved completely into light. Known traditionally as achieving the state of “lightness”, the process has long been considered either a sign of advanced practice, or a genetic defect. The miracle occurred while Richard was answering his six hundred millionth email.

We would like to thank Richard for consenting to this interview so soon after achieving absolute lightness.

Chronicles: Richard, it’s so good to see you.

RR: I’m over here.

C: Yes. Oh, okay…. over there….? Okay, it doesn’t matter. Can you tell our readers what this miracle means for you and for the mandala?

RR: Well, first of all, I’d like to say that all of this is purely the blessings of the lineage. I am just an ordinary man, who happened to be in the light place at the light time, so to speak. But of course, attaining lightness is not all fun and games. We who are light have a responsibility to accelerate the evolution of those around us, in fact to accelerate the awakening of the entire planet.

C: I see. So this is sort of a light-man’s burden?…. Richard?

RR: Yes, I’m over here. Well, actually I’m over there too. I’m sort of all over the place. But yes, it is a burden. Everywhere you look there are people to initiate. We have to reach everyone. We can’t rest until everyone is light.

As we have been told, the world is moving deeper into the not-light age. On one hand this is a time of great pain and suffering. But on the other hand, this is the time when we can actually feel ourselves evolving. We find ourselves in tune with the sacred blueprint. We are nearing the moment of the final lightshow, the moment when we will know how truly superior we really are.

C: The final lightshow?

RR: Right, that’s when lightness becomes completely light and everyone else just goes to hell.

C: Oh my! But we’re okay because….?

RR: In the final lightshow, all the lightness will gang up on the not-lightness and we’re going to win.

C: Cool!
Well, thank you again for being with us today. Richard ….—

Well that was Richard Reoch, President of Shambhala, ascending to ever higher stages of not-not-lightness.

Good morning and good luck to all our readers.

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